Even after six years together in business, Steve and I are still trying to get better at communicating with each other. Since we’re remote business partners our conversations take place over Skype or iChat, and we’ve noticed a few trends.
“I need help flushing out an idea, design, concept, etc.”
These conversations need feedback. The conversation initiator requires encouragement on their idea, a tweak or even another idea that pushes their idea further. This conversation is tough because each person in the conversation needs to have the time and brain cycles to process and collaborate on the subject.
“What did you do this weekend?”
This conversation is social, it’s to keep connected with your business partner. It should end on a high note. It’s an opportunity to feel good.
“I’m about to do X and want to make sure it’s okay with you.”
If you agree with their action, these conversations are quick. But if you don’t, they require a slow, tactful approach to convince the other person to change their mind. These conversations are best if they start like this, “Hey, I’m about to do X but I wanted to check with you to see if there is another angle that I’m missing.”
“I need you to be quiet and let me rant about a frustration.”
Sit quietly and let the other side vent out their frustration. Be careful not to cheapen the upset person’s feelings by telling them they’re wrong. Listen and encourage. If both people are frustrated, it’s a bad time to have this conversation.
“I’m feeling down and need encouragement.”
This is a similar conversation to venting, but usually the conversation originator is feeling down about something–not upset, just discouraged.
“I’m arrogant and need a reality check.”
For me, I need a reality check after LessConf. Something about throwing a wild event with 200 of my closest friends makes me feel unstoppable. I need to get back to reality and get back to getting things done.
If you can quickly identify what type of conversation you’re having with your business partner, you’ll have a better idea of how to respond. Also you’ll notice similar conversations with your spouse or significant other.
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