Allan and I have what seems to be a fairly unique business relationship. Here is how we make it work:
We are both keenly aware that we do better together than apart. Nether of us has ever had such a good collaborator. A few times, this knowledge is the only thing that kept us together.
Neither of us steers the ship alone. We make all decisions together. And we have never done something the other disagrees with. If we can’t agree, the decision has always been put off until we find a compromise. This has been true 100% of the time, thus far. It is one way we show our respect for each other.
Having shared ethics and values gives us a shared compass for decision making. It allows us to have an agreed upon starting point for persuading each other.
Ultimately we want the same things out of life, out of our business, out of our employees and out of our products. These non-competing interests mean we’re not constantly fighting. We both want the same things, we sometimes disagree about the way we want to get there, but we want to get to the same place.
Allan is a designer; I am a developer. We go together like peas and carrots. Complementary skills allow us to see problems from different perspectives.
We are both very good at UI, simplifying problems, focusing on the core of a problem or business. These overlapping skills allow us to explore and push each other’s ideas to a very deep level.
We enjoy talking to each other in general, not just about business. We like hearing the other’s opinion of our ideas and work. We both know our partner is just trying to make me better, so we don’t often get offended or feel hurt when we tell each other “no” or adds to or changes an idea.
Sometimes we’re best friends and sometimes not, but we are always keenly aware how the other is doing and we usually try to help. This usually takes the form of understanding the stress and work/life load of our partner and trying to shift responsibilities to make things easier for the other. “Happy wife means happy life.”
I can’t change Allan and he can’t change me. The best we can do is make sure our own mess is cleaned up. We do fight, over the years we’ve had many fights (some physical involving shallow water) but in the end, we try to accept our partner’s weaknesses and try to figure out where I made a mistake and apologize for it.
These skills/habits/traits are what have kept us going and keep us going strong. They can be used for both a business partnership and a romantic relationship (although Allan and I have never gone there, because he is married and not my type). In fact, I once had a shrink tell me my relationship with Allan should be the role model for my romantic relationships. And yes, Allan still teases me about that.
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