Types of Relationships

Written by on Dec 17 2012

Since getting divorce I’ve had a few relationships and in an effort to figure out why things happen (are they moving to fast, too slow, assuming one thing or another) I decided to make a list and categorize the different relationships I have.

So from now on here is how I will categorize my relationships:

1. Friends:

  • No sex, kissing, or holding hands.
  • Hugs are great.
  • Snuggling only when one person is in distress.
  • No bedroom activities.
  • Snuggling only on the couch.
  • Ok to wait days to answer phone or txt with no hard feelings.
  • No behavior that needs to stop if either is in another relationship.
  • May transition to any other category.

2. Fuck Buddies:

  • Like friend, but with sex and maybe snuggling.
  • No PDAs.
  • All of this stops if either is seriously dating or boyfriend/girlfriend with someone else.
  • May stop talking entirely, with no hard feelings, if this relationship is making another relationship difficult.
  • May transition to any other category, but most likely will only move back to friends.

3. Dating:

  • Sex, some PDAs, snuggling, overnight visits.
  • Not monogamous.
  • Trying to figure out if we are a good fit.
  • Has not met my kids.
  • Should not start here. Should start at friendship and transition to dating.

4. Serious Dating:

  • May introduce each other as boyfriend or girlfriend to make things simpler in social situations.
  • May be monogamous.
  • Sex, some PDAs, snuggling, overnight visits.
  • Share our lives intimately.
  • Knows each other very well.
  • Considers each other “my best friend.”
  • Still trying to figure out if we match.
  • May have met my kids.
  • Working on solidarity and reciprocity.
  • May be “it’s complicated.”
  • Answers phone and txt ASAP (not necessarily immediately, but as soon as possible).

5. Girlfriend/Boyfriend:

  • Monogamous
  • Facebook status
  • Share our lives intimately.
  • Sex, PDAs, snuggling.
  • Answers phone and txt ASAP (not necessarily immediately, but as soon as possible).
  • Approaching complete solidarity and reciprocity.
  • Spends holidays together.
  • Loves my kids and shares in parenting them.

6. Life Long Partnership:

  • Monogamous
  • Sex, PDAs, snuggling.
  • Share our lives together completely.
  • Other than children, this is the most important person.
  • Answers phone and txt ASAP (not necessarily immediately, but as soon as possible).
  • Complete solidarity and reciprocity.
  • Spends life together.

An interesting footnote is that by this list I haven’t yet had a girlfriend since I was divorced, just a couple of serious dating situations. Which puts things in perspective.

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