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Types of Relationships

Since getting divorce I’ve had a few relationships and in an effort to figure out why things happen (are they moving to fast, too slow, assuming one thing or another) I decided to make a list and categorize the different relationships I have.

So from now on here is how I will categorize my relationships:

1. Friends:

• No sex, kissing, or holding hands.
• Hugs are great.
• Snuggling only when one person is in distress.
• No bedroom activities.
• Snuggling only on the couch.
• Ok to wait days to answer phone or txt with no hard feelings.
• No behavior that needs to stop if either is in another relationship.
• May transition to any other category.

2. Fuck Buddies:

• Like friend, but with sex and maybe snuggling.
• No PDAs.
• All of this stops if either is seriously dating or boyfriend/girlfriend with someone else.
• May stop talking entirely, with no hard feelings, if this relationship is making another relationship difficult.
• May transition to any other category, but most likely will only move back to friends.

3. Dating:

• Sex, some PDAs, snuggling, overnight visits.
• Not monogamous.
• Trying to figure out if we are a good fit.
• Has not met my kids.
• Should not start here. Should start at friendship and transition to dating.

4. Serious Dating:

• May introduce each other as boyfriend or girlfriend to make things simpler in social situations.
• May be monogamous.
• Sex, some PDAs, snuggling, overnight visits.
• Share our lives intimately.
• Knows each other very well.
• Considers each other “my best friend.”
• Still trying to figure out if we match.
• May have met my kids.
• Working on solidarity and reciprocity.
• May be “it’s complicated.”
• Answers phone and txt ASAP (not necessarily immediately, but as soon as possible).

5. Girlfriend/Boyfriend:

• Monogamous
• Facebook status
• Share our lives intimately.
• Sex, PDAs, snuggling.
• Answers phone and txt ASAP (not necessarily immediately, but as soon as possible).
• Approaching complete solidarity and reciprocity.
• Spends holidays together.
• Loves my kids and shares in parenting them.

6. Life Long Partnership:

• Monogamous
• Sex, PDAs, snuggling.
• Share our lives together completely.
• Other than children, this is the most important person.
• Answers phone and txt ASAP (not necessarily immediately, but as soon as possible).
• Complete solidarity and reciprocity.
• Spends life together.

An interesting footnote is that by this list I haven’t yet had a girlfriend since I was divorced, just a couple of serious dating situations. Which puts things in perspective.

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